UPDATE: All right, friends. I promised you my story, so here it is.
I grew earlier than most of the kids in my class. Including, most notably, the boys. But also the girls. And that height gave me an advantage when it came to the sport of basketball.
Enough of an advantage, for a couple years, to make up for chubby legs and a painfully slow run. And, oh yeah, my asthma.
But by the time I entered high school, I still had chubby slow legs and an inhaler on hand at all time. But I wasn’t necessarily the tallest girl on the team.
[I know, Smitty. I was never taller than you. But for a while I was one of the tallest girls. And then I wasn’t. But I still loved wearing your size 9 tall jeans in 8th grade. That one time? Remember? Yeah. I loved those jeans.]
Anyway, I played on the freshman basketball team, even though, like my height, my skills had really peaked about two years earlier. Our coach was a mean, mean man. And I didn’t like him much (if you couldn’t tell).
Well, one night we were in a neighboring small town, getting our adolescent butts kicked on the court. I have memories of our coach practically screaming at us at away games; I’m not sure if that happened on this certain night or not. But either way, tensions were running high.
So when I was running my darnedest down the court – behind everyone else, remember, I was slooow – and flat out tripped over my own two feet, I shouldn’t have been surprised when my so-called friends and teammates laughed hysterically.
Picture this: There I was, chubby and wheezing, trying so hard to make it from one end of that court to the other. Trying to be good. (Oh, how I tried.) And somehow, I just tripped over my Nike high tops. Falling FLAT ON MY FACE.
Oh, you know what? That’s not true. First my knees slammed into the floor. Then I fell flat on my face.
Apparently, as legend goes, I tripped near one of the many painted lines on the court. This coincidence, of course, prompted my evil coach to yell – for the whole world (and the boys team) to hear: “Watch out for that line!”
Cue the hysterical laughter. Cue the years of teasing from so-called best friends. Cue the mysterious title of today’s post.
Ah, high school. Bruised knees and a bruised ego. Memories. Glorious memories.
Whose idea was it, anyway, to dredge up these things?!
Right. Right. Well, anyway, that was the last year I played basketball. And that was most definitely one of my most embarrassing moments.
You like?
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A co-worker and I were discussing how weird it is that a common ice-breaker is to have each person in a newly formed group share his or her most embarrassing moment.
That’s weird, right?
So how about we share ours today? Because we’re not a new group here . . . c’mon! We’re more like family here on this blog!
I promise – if you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.
Actually, that’s not true. I’m going to tell you my most embarrassing moment no matter what. As soon as I get more time this afternoon. But it sure would be less painful if you shared yours, too . . . I’m just saying!
I passed out in the shower at the YMCA three years ago. Buck naked. Found by several women there. Managed to get my shirt and undies on with the help of a coworker before the (extremely cute and male) EMTs came to roll me out on a stretcher.
And no, it wasn't because I was working out so hard or anything. My shampoo rolled into another shower stall, and I sprained my hip trying to get to it. And then passed out from the pain.
Beat that.
In 7th Grade I was walking to the bus and the 9th grade basketball team just happened to be waiting for the halls to clear so they could get to the gym to start practice. I was carrying my trusty clarinet, an armload of books, my purse and an umbrella. Instead of watching where I was going, I was checking out all the cute upperclassmen and I missed one of the two steps that led from the hall into the atrium where the ENTIRE TEAM watched me fall FLAT on my face. Books went flying, clarinet case popped open and pieces flew everywhere…oh, and did I mention that I was wearing a skirt that day. Those boys got a show as well. To add insult to injury, none of them helped me pick anything up, they just laughed the whole time…mortifying.
Hmmm….this is a tough one — there are sooooo many….
I'd have to say it was probably a fall I took in HS. See, I went to a very conservative, Catholic, small school in VA. Although we were not required to wear uniforms, we did have to wear skirts or dresses — and even jumpers. I liked my jumpers back then.
Anywho, one morning I was getting dressed in my corduroy jumper :) and realized I had no underwear left in my drawer EXCEPT a pair of green, leopardskin string bikini's — bikinis that had been given to me as a joke by a friend — so I threw them on.
That morning at school in the way in to the building in front of God and country, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell smack on my rumpus to only have my jumper fly up and cover my whole face — showing everyone around me my green leopardskin string bikinis.
I still remember the boys just standing there with their mouths open. I remember finally saying "could someone just please help me up?!!!"
I'm pretty much thinking it could have been the first time those boys saw anything like it given their reactions.
Now, thinking back, it's just flat out hilarious!
Several years ago Gerald and I were house-hunting out of state after a job interview Gerald had that day. The realtor was showing us around this cute little townhome and as we were standing in the living room the beautiful landscaping in the backyard caught my eye so I quickly went to look at it. Totally didn't even notice the screen door that was pulled closed and I completely busted out the screen. I hit that screen so hard with my body that it left marks on face! My husband and the realtor was in complete shock. Luckily we were able to put the screen back in somehow. Needless to say, we didn't buy the townhome.
During my latest pregnancy, i experienced terrible morning sickness (all day long to be exact). I never knew when it was going to hit. One afternoon I was picking up Ethan from a friends house and…it hit me. I stood for a moment in my friends front yard trying to gain my composure but…I couldn't hold it in and I threw up right there in her front yard while all the kids (including my son) watched in horror. My friend quickly ushered all the kids inside.
It was horrible. I've never been more embarassed in my life…well other than a certain accident at pizza hut in high school…another story for another time.
You guys are cracking me up! I promise to update with MY story tonight!!
Does that mean you'll be available for chatting at that time? ;)
Yeah…I have a lot. The one I am willing to share with you on here happened when I was 18 and going on vacation with my parents and some of their friends.
I was riding on one of those moving sidewalks, standing backwards and talking to my mom/her friends. They neglected to tell me that the walk was ending.
My foot hit the end of the walkway (in a CROWDED airport) and I literally did a flip–yes, my feet went up over my head–and I landed face down, staring at the offending walkway. I really was completely fine–you know, when you have no idea something is going to happen, your body has no time to tense up…
I would have happily got up and pretended nothing happened, but several nearby passersby felt the need to assure themselves that I was OKAY. I guess that was nice of them…
Well. We are a clumsy group of girls, aren't we??? It's funny how all of our embarrassing moments involve some sort of physical incident?
I think Kim H takes the cake so far – I laughed so hard when I read your story!!
So I'm not begging off, BUT I do have my most embarrassing moment (in all its glory) scheduled for your viewing pleasure Tuesday morning… Be prepared, it's a long one…
But I can add a short one. Up until my MOST embarrassing moment, the most embarrassing thing to happen to me was while I was in my Science class in Junior High. It was a Christian school and we were required to wear dresses or skirts. We were having a movie (on the reel projecter) and the projector fit perfectly on my desk, so I had to move to a folding chair next to my friend, Carol. Just as I was sitting, she scooted it back just a hair so I could sit right next to her, only the chair folded up and I landed on my back with my feet up in the air. As I rolled to sit up, there was my unmarried male teacher who had by now turned 3 shades of red from my unexpected exposure…
Okay, first thing. If you're "so-called best friends" can't laugh with you, who can? It is kind of sad that we laugh at a comment made by a very BAD man. Sorry.
I was very excited to read that there was in fact proof that I wore a size 9! Hee hee.