When I started this blog nearly three years ago, I had no idea the journey I’d begun.
My life had somewhat abruptly morphed into something I barely recognized, complete with a newborn, an entry-level job that [I was quite sure] could be done by a monkey and husband who worked evenings. I was still reeling from all the changes, and I wasn’t exactly comfortable with any of them. And, honestly, I was bored and lonely.
A blog seemed like the perfect way to practice the art of writing, connect with old friends – and new ones, collect my thoughts and record my memories, and, moreover, to talk to someone, anyone.
And you know what? A blog was the perfect place for all that.
But as I’ve grown and changed, so has my blog. Many of you noticed last summer when I started experimenting with monetization, also known as advertising. Some of you weren’t thrilled, and a few of you were brave enough to tell me about it.
That was when I began to understand the impact my blog has and the community that we’ve built. This blog may belong to me, but I’m not the only one affected by what it written – or posted – in this place.
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Weeks before I attended my first blogging conference, I somehow ran across a few blogs written by women who were passionate about feeding the hungry. They had gone on mission trips with Compassion International, and their blog posts about those trips changed my heart forever.
When I had the opportunity to meet one of those bloggers at Blissdom in 2009, I made a fool of myself – not surprisingly – by crying as I tried to tell her, “Your blog changed me. And I want to do what you did.”
I managed to get the words out, despite my tears and embarrassment. And Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer was kind and gracious and encouraging.
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A few months later, I began rebranding my blog as Giving Up on Perfect, and I was blown away by the response I received over and over. It hadn’t even been a real conscious effort on my part, and somehow I’d chosen a phrase that struck a nerve with almost every woman I met. (At least the women I told my blog about. At that point, I was still a secret blogger, afraid that people would laugh when I told them what I did on my computer every single night.)
What had started with a quote from Anna Quindlen, given to me by a manager a few years earlier, turned into a mission statement that I have learned is truly needed by women just like me. Women struggling to find a balance among perfectionism, procrastination and apathy. Women fighting to be recognized, heard, encouraged, forgiven, motivated, refreshed. Women aching for someone to tell them that they are enough, they are good, they are loved.
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And then? After deciding that I wanted to help those in poverty with the power of my blog? After realizing that I’m not the only woman who needs to give up on perfect but do it in a healthy way? After feeling absolutely called to doing something real, something important, something big with this online space I’ve carved?
I’ve done nothing.
Okay, in true giving up on perfect fashion, I have to admit that’s not entirely true. In the past three years, I’ve sponsored a child through Compassion and written about that program and a few others that are making a difference in the poorest corners of the earth. I’ve written about my mistakes and fears, with the hopes that not only will sharing it release me from the guilt and shame, but that it will encourage others who just might have gone through something similar.
But more often, I’ve written about my favorite TV shows, the latest recipe I’ve attempted and my top ten list of whatever’s on my mind that week.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m serious. I might be talking about children going hungry and women who need encouragement today, but, people, I’m still me. And I still love my shows . . . and food . . . and top ten lists.
I’m not shutting down this blog or “going dark” for a month or even putting a moratorium on posts about pop culture. No, this post really is what I called it from the beginning: a state of the blog address.
You – my readers, my friends – are important to me and crucial to this blog. And I wanted to let you know what I’ve been thinking about and explain why things may feel a little bit different around here from now on.
What does that mean? I’m not sure yet. In part, it’s giving myself permission to not post every day – and to only post when I’ve got something good, something real to say. It’s also giving myself permission – and motivation – to write more often about things that actually reflect my blog’s title, to write more often about things that really matter in the long run.
I’ll tell you more about the specifics of these changes soon. But for now, here’s glimpse into my heart (from a guest post I wrote at Alli-n-Son last month):
My theme for 2011 is stewardship. Everything I’m working on – health, parenting, marriage, writing, finances – is on my list because I want to take better care of the blessings I’ve been given.
Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Okay, it actually kind of was. I’ve had the same basic resolutions for, oh, the last decade. At least. But it’s only been the past few months that I’ve recognized the theme in my goals.
Nerdy side note: I wasn’t sold on the word “theme” to describe what I meant, so I tried all night to figure out another way to say it. A few synonyms that I found were motive, purpose, issue, burden, core, crux, essence, gist and heart.
And really, that’s what this is about. Remembering what the purpose, what the heart of this blog is – and then following it.
Thoughts? Concerns? Questions? Ideas? Share them in the comments or send me a private message through my contact page!
i say way to go! i’m really looking forward to your changes.
i’m working on a few of my own ;)
Thanks, Lauren! Good luck with your changes! :)
Love it! Can’t wait to see the changes!
Thank you, Shelli!
Change is good! I usually do it kicking and screaming, though. So glad you and change have a peaceful relationship! Can’t wait to continue reading all your awesome posts!
Hahahaha! Have I got you fooled! No, change and I don’t have a peaceful relationship…although it’s not quite as tumultuous as it once was. ;)
This is great Mary! Can’t wait to see what happens next!
Thanks, Sarah!
You do what you feel is best. With that said, I’ll share why I come back to your blog daily.
You’re ALWAYS real. You’re always funny, except when you’re purposely not being funny. Does that make sense? You are a fabulous writer, not trying to flatter you, but I can relax when I read your posts. I don’t feel tense waiting for you to say something you think is funny but really isn’t.
Or make grammar errors.
And I know that this doesn’t really count, because I met you in person before I started consistently reading your blog, but I believe your readers view you as a friend. That friend who can talk about anything. As much as you needed someone to talk to in those early days, you meet a similar need in women who need someone to talk to them.
It sounds like I’m about to ask you for something, but I’m not. I just want to encourage you that you are ministering to people through what you do here. Even when it’s about Danny Zuko.
My thoughts exactly! Thanks for saving me that typing time! :)
Very well said, and very, very true.
Um…when I got your comment in my e-mail, I thought that you were replying to my post. And, yeah, well, it turns out Nony was the one who said things well. (Which she did, very kindly – but I cracked up when I realized my mistaken assumption!)
I wanted to write something similar, but this is just about what I wanted to say. I totally agree. Ministry can look like a lot of different things — and I think your blog, just as it is, is one of them.
Thank you. That means so much to me.
Favorite. Comment. EVAH. {Seriously – thank you. So much.}
I’m so excited for you. I am compelled to missionary work because I have a heart for hurting children. We are waiting until our youngest is a little older and our home is paid off before we tackle international missionary work. There is nothing greater than following the high calling of God on your life.
Wow! What a great goal for your family! That’s awesome, Saidah!
Do whatever works for you. I think you have a consistent “voice” whether you’re talking deep stuff or more frivolous (such as movies or tv, which I enjoy because I’m addicted to those myself), and that’s what keeps me reading.
Thank you so much. I do love the frivolous – and I can’t imagine I’ll give that up entirely!
Isn’t it funny how our blogs can take on a life of their own? I have noticed a definite change in mine over the past six months. And if someone were to check out my first few months of blogging from my archives they would not be able to tell it was the same person.
That’s what keeps blogging fun though. We’re organic, we change and grow, and our blogs reflect that. Your blog title has always struck a chord with me, because I am a recovering perfectionist. Actually, I think I’m still a perfectionist at heart, but my four small children make that pretty impossible. I’ve just given up fighting. :) Haha!
Looking forward to what you’ve got coming here, Mary!
Thank you so much, Melissa. My blog has drastically changed over the years, too – so this won’t be the first time I’ve reinvented myself!
You go, girl! I’ll be sticking around for the ride no matter which direction(s) you go in.
Thank you, friend. :)
taking stock of our hearts is always the first step of any exciting journey. we’ll all be along for the ride with you, girl.
Thank you, friend.