When I was a freshman in high school, I was IN LOVE with a boy in my geometry class. And one day he took it upon himself to inform me that I had a unibrow.

WHAT?

First of all, who even DOES that? I mean, did I point out that he was short? NO.

(I mean, it was fairly obvious when we stood up at the end of class. Two years younger and I still had at least four inches on the guy. But I was certainly not rude enough to SAY anything about that fact!)

Anyway, I immediately procured a pair of tweezers and went to town on what was, yes, one united brow.

I haven’t stopped plucking since.

More than once, I have overplucked. Every time, I swear I’ll change. I tell myself to put down the tweezers. But then? Something awful like this happens: a friend says – out of nowhere – “Mary, you have the best eyebrows!”

WHAT?

Well, I can’t let them bush up now, can I?

Once I even took tiny scissors to my unruly brows. And promptly cut a HOLE in my eyebrow. I had to use a combination of clever brow combing and two different brow pencils for MONTHS.

But did that stop me? NO.

You might think I’m crazy, but I pluck my eyebrows Every. Single. Day. I really detest going out in public without lipstick, but I will do it. Go out without plucking, though? No can do.

I’m reading a book right now about Queen Elizabeth’s court and how the women painted their faces white, died their hair red and plucked their eyebrows completely off. I’m not particularly enjoying it, largely because I have 21st century perspective and want to shake the characters. “Quit torturing yourself with lead paint and painful plucking just to make a crazy Queen happy!”

Huh. Wait a minute.

Nah. My eyebrow plucking is nothing like that. Right? Right.

Do you have any beauty rituals that you can’t quit? (And have you ever overplucked your eyebrows?)

Are you hooked on holiday movies?

 

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