It's All McDonald's

Last month Mark and I saw Jim Gaffigan do a live show. We laughed non-stop for an hour and a half. I literally had a headache from laughing so hard.

I wasn’t surprised to have such a good time, although I realized after the show was over that I’m pretty sure I haven’t laughed that hard for that long in . . . ever. Clearly I need more funny in my life!

I was surprised, however, to just how much I loved one of his segments. Not just because it was funny or smart or true (or all of the above), but because it was so well-written and such a great message. Like I told Mark, “I wish I had written that.”

The segment was about Gaffigan’s love of McDonald’s. He started by saying he loves telling people for the first time that he eats at McDonald’s . . . and then seeing the look of disgust and judgment on their face. The unspoken exchange, he said, goes like this: “Oh, you’re one of those people who eats at McDonald’s.” “Oh, you’re one of those people who judge people who eat at McDonald’s.” He riffed for quite a while about how horrible (and tasty) McDonald’s is, but then he got to the main point.

He said that you may not eat at McDonald’s, but you have something. Your McDonald’s might be trashy romance novels or too much wine or Toddlers & Tiaras or tacos made out of Doritos. We all have something. And it’s all McDonald’s.

I’m not doing his bit justice, because it was both pointed and HILARIOUS. But even as I roared (and there may have even been a few embarrassing moments of laughter so out of control that I literally couldn’t breathe . . . just maybe), I couldn’t help wanting to shout, “Amen!”

Of course, it wasn’t that kind of show and telling Jim Gaffigan to “preach it, brother” might have been a little weird. But I totally said it . . . in my head.

Because he’s right. We all have something.

  • I can judge you for watching reality TV or you can judge me for watching NCIS, but the fact is, we both watch too much TV.
  • I can judge you for confusing “your” and “you’re” and you can judge me for owning three copies of the AP Style Guide.
  • I can judge you for yelling at your kids in the grocery store, but the fact is, I’m not so proud of the bedtime scene at my house last night.
  • I can judge you for that pack of cigarettes I saw in your purse and you can judge me for the empty bag of chocolate chips on my counter. An addiction is an addiction. We all have something. It’s all McDonald’s.

So, what’s your McDonald’s? Do you eat fast food? Use People.com as your homepage? DVR every episode of Reality Housewives of Anywhere? Buy a lottery ticket every morning on your way to work?

If I’m honest, I have to face the fact that I’ve got a lot of McDonald’s. I eat junk more than I want to admit. Sometimes it’s of the fast food variety, sometimes it’s the whatever-I-can-find-in-the-house type. I watch a lot of great shows but certainly some that others wouldn’t approve of. (I don’t care if you mock my NCIS love, though. It could not be the #1 show on TV or CBS or whatever if only women over 60 were watching it. So shut up.) And I do read an amazing amount of YA, chick lit and Christian fiction, including many cheese-tastic novels that won’t make it into any “hey, you should read this” blog post. Oh, and that pop music I love (like any good 14-year-old girl)? Yeah, pretty sure that is someone else’s definition of “McDonald’s.”

Maybe it’s time we stop looking down our noses at our friends and neighbors and family members for having their things. We’ve all got junk. And yeah, we need to get rid of it. That is a whole other topic, though. Today I’m talking about taking a break from judgment and remembering that even if our neighbor screams at her small people like they’re dogs, keeps her incarcerated boyfriend’s car on blocks in the front yard, and shares her loud, rated-R music with the entire neighborhood on a regular basis, we’ve got our junk, too.

[Yes. That neighbor is real, and I’m working on not being a Judging Judy about her. I’ve got my own McDonald’s. And sometimes my McDonald’s actually IS McDonald’s.]

What’s YOUR McDonald’s?

And now, watch for yourself. Here’s Jim Gaffigan on McDonalds:

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