You know how sometimes you leave a conversation, replaying it in your head until it becomes something much bigger than it really was? And how the only way to get better perspective is to dictate the entire conversation to a good friend, including facial expressions, voice intonations and awkward pauses of all parties involved? And how you most often get one of two responses?

You know, either, “Oh, please,” (as in, “That wasn’t bad at all! You’re fine. FINE.”) or “Oh, honey,” (as in, “That was bad. BAD. I am cringing for you right now. Really, you should probably hide out for a day or twelve. That was…I just…oh, honey.”)?

I got “Oh, honey”-ed at Blissdom last week.

Before I dive into this shameful tale, though, I should remind you of my sad tendency to get WEIRD when I meet famous (or blog famous) people at Blissdom. I cried (CRIED!) the first time I met a famous blogger, and the only thing I could spit out when I met Harry Connick, Jr. was, “Thank you.” (Which, for the record, is still better than what I was thinking, which was, “You have surprisingly small hands!” Admittedly, though, “thank you” is extremely lame.)

But in my defense, I have met other famous people without crying, babbling, hyperventilating or otherwise acting inappropriately. Just so you know.

That may not have been the case at Blissdom this year…

Let me tell you what happened.

Oh wait, you need more back story. FINE. I’ll tell you the whole thing. (Why do you make me do this?)

I started reading Stuff Christians Like early on in my blog life. I’ve read all the books Jon Acuff has written, pretty much all his blog posts on both of his blogs, and I’ve seen him speak – both in videos and in person. I think he’s hilarious and honest and alternately inspiring and convicting on Serious Wednesday.

So basically, I’m a big fan.

And that’s okay, right? That’s not embarrassing or weird. I’m allowed to be a fan of a writer. Right?

Here’s where it starts getting embarrassing…

So last year, Jon Acuff spoke at Blissdom. Right before his keynote I was talking to my friend Dedra, who was on staff with the conference and worked with all the speakers. I said, “Oh, I’m so excited for this! I’m a huge fan of Jon Acuff!” (or something reasonable like that). And SHE said, “Well, come on! I’ll introduce you!”

You guys. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I PANICKED. I totally freaked out! I said, [not at all] calmly, “No, I couldn’t. No. I…just…no. NO. I’ve got to go. I…um…bye!”

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME.

Later that morning I managed to get it together long enough to stand in line to meet him and have his book, Quitter, signed. I tried desperately to think of something funny to say when I got up to the front of the line, but while that’s not normally THAT difficult, the funny escaped me.

I don’t remember what I said, but it must have been some kind of awesome. Because when I met him again this year, he said, “Have we met before?”

Sadly, it was Harry Connick all over again, because all I had to say in response to that was, “Yeah.”

Meanwhile, my friend and roommate Jill carried on an entire conversation with him. An interesting, funny conversation. While I stood there, awkwardly. Oh so awkwardly.

This isn’t actually the “oh, honey” part, though. (But wait! There’s more!)

The following night was Girls Night Out, a party at the resort’s club-slash-trendy-restaurant. As most of these parties are, this GNO was loud and crowded and, at least temporarily, home to many more people than chairs. Lots of people had a ton of fun, but these types of events aren’t really my thing.

Nevertheless, I was glad Jill convinced me to go to the party. I’d shoved myself into a horribly binding combination of too-small tights, spanx and faux-wool skirt, and though I might’ve been overly warm (and unable to sit down comfortably, if you must know), I sure looked cute!

I got some food, enjoyed a very tasty ConAgra-tini (or two), and heard Amber Riley from Glee tear.it.up on stage. I caught up with some old friends and even managed to make a new one (not so easy when music is pounding so loud you can FEEL IT INSIDE YOUR BODY). And then I was pretty much done.

Before I could convince Jill to go back to the hotel – or at least give me my room key and phone, because she lost the who’s-going-to-carry-a-purse-tonight lottery – we noticed that Jon Acuff was at the party. She, of course, didn’t hesitate and went over to talk to him again. I did not.

But then – then! – I decided I couldn’t keep being so ridiculous. So I walked over to him to chat for a minute. I waited for a couple other people to finish up and then said hello.

THIS IS WHERE THINGS REALLY STARTED GOING WRONG.

You guys. You know how sometimes you can say things and they can be taken two different ways? As in, a normal way and…um…a BAD way? Right. Yes. This is how our conversation went:

Me: Hi there! I just wanted to say hello. I really enjoyed your session this morning.
Him: Oh, thanks. Have we met before?
Me: Heh heh. That’s what you said last night.
Him: *awkward stare*
Me: I mean, haha! I’m just kidding. Well, you DID say that last night, but I was just kidding. Ummmm…
Him: Oh, right! You were with the girl who said I was from The Voice, right?
Me: Yeah! She’s so funny. She’s my roommate.
Him: Yeah, and she [he proceeded to list off several personal facts about Jill then].
Me: Um, yes. Gosh. You guys are totally best friends now! I thought she was my best friend!
Him: Well, I hate to break it to you…
Me: *totally normal laughter*
Him: So, what do people do now? Go back to the hotel?
Me: Well, I want to go back to the hotel!
Him: *more awkward staring*
Me: I mean, it’s loud and crowded and…well, it was nice to meet you! Bye!

Now you might be thinking about saying, “Oh, please.” As in, that conversation wasn’t weird at all and I’m probably exaggerating because that’s what I do and who cares anyway and hey, at least he remembered you.

But I told a friend about the whole conversation right after it happened, word for word, and you know what she said?

You guessed it: “Oh, HONEY.”

Lots of people have written great posts about all the things they learned or enjoyed at Blissdom. I’m planning on sharing a bit of that, too. But I couldn’t even begin to process all that good stuff until I told you this story. Because, really, if there were a how-to guide for giving up on perfect when meeting someone you really admire, I’m pretty sure I NAILED IT.

The how-to guide. Not…OH MY WORD, MAKE IT STOP.

Have you ever met someone famous? How did you react?
{Please. Feel free to top my story of humiliation.}
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