as it is about going on and on and on.
It is about muddling through the middle.
~ Anna Quindlen
Today is my birthday. I’m 35 years old.
Thirty-five isn’t old, but it isn’t young either. Even though I hope to live past 70, it feels smack dab in the middle.
I have mixed feelings about this birthday. On one hand, I’m now old enough to be President of the United States. On the other, I’m five years past the age limit to compete on So You Think You Can Dance. Like they say, when one door closes . . .
As I turn a year older . . . and we come to the end of another year . . . and my family prepares to begin a new era of two children rather than just one, I’m feeling a bit reflective.
[You know, in between rewriting my ridiculously long before-the-holidays and before-the-baby lists? And after that nap I had to take and before I make another batch of something to put in the freezer? Yep, in that moment, I’m feeling reflective . . . and probably have to pee again.]
I love the song, Lose Yourself, by Eminem. If I need to get pumped up – or pretend to know how to rap – I listen to Lose Yourself. I don’t know how you could sit on the couch, let another day go by, or stop dreaming and living and moving when you hear these words:
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo
Yo. Except . . . is that even true?
What if we DO let it go? What if we miss our chance? Will the opportunity really never come around again?
Well, I suppose there are plenty of opportunities – like auditioning for a dance competition on reality TV – that, once they’re gone, we can’t get them back. I bet every single one of us could tell at least one story, full of regret or relief or a mixture of both, about an opportunity we didn’t take, a risk we didn’t take, an adventure that went unlived, a story unwritten.
But did our stories go unwritten? Or did they simply change – or lead us where the Author wanted us to go in the first place?
I’m tempted to think of my life right now in terms of beginnings and endings, opportunities both taken and missed.
A career
A family
A ministry
A dream
A diet
An interview
An audition
A proposal
Some of those things have come and gone, some might come around again but others certainly won’t. Some are still in progress, going on and on and on as I muddle through the middle. Some are just beginning while others are drawing to a close right this moment.
But as I’ve gotten all Jack Handy with my deep thoughts, I’ve thought about the photos I love of gorgeous sunrises and sunset – and how, if you don’t read the caption or know better, it’s not always clear which one you’re looking at.
Is the day beginning or ending? Sometimes when you’re staring right at the sun and the sky and the clouds and the rays, it’s hard to tell.
Today may not be your birthday. And perhaps your family make-up isn’t changing in less than a month. But just in case the end of the year or the holidays or the class reunion or that announcement on Facebook or the promotion you didn’t get or race you didn’t run has you wondering if your chance has passed . . .
It’s not too late.
Can I tell you that? It’s true. I believe that. Do you?
[Oh my word, I did NOT mean to turn that into a rhyme. Or a rap. It just happened, I swear.]
ANYWAY.
It’s not too late. Your story isn’t over. Your window hasn’t closed. That ending might be a beginning – or perhaps you’re simply muddling through the middle that, for now, is going on and on and on. It’s not too late. You’ll have another shot . . . yo.
Will you humor me on my birthday? Tell me about something it’s not too late for in your life. What dream hasn’t ended, what story is still being written? What will you keep pursuing, keep muddling on through this next year?
{Photo by smemon}
Happy birthday, Mary! This speaks right to my heart, as my 34th birthday is less than a month away.
Thanks, Leigh!
Happy Birthday Mary, from Mary M. It is never to late to love. I am remarried after saying no man no dogs. I have been divorced and then widowed and did NOT want another man, but God had other plans and HE knew I really needed to know love, so He sent me a new husband. Because of my new hubby I get to travel with him in the semi and see places I never thought I would, I have been deer hunting, boating, fishing both in summer and winter, snowmobiling. While one door closed God opened another that is even better. And oh, I was 61 when this marriage occurred. I still dream of writing and seeing the Rose Bowl parade close up and personal. Loved the opening quote, put it in my journal.
Thank you, Mary – and thank you for sharing your story with us. I love hearing how God writes such amazing stories for us!!
Happy Birthday Mary. Today is my hubby’s b-day too. 43. And my daughter turns 13 the 28th. I love your reflective thoughts. Making me think. Do not have an answer yet though.
Happy birthday to your hubby and daughter! My husband’s birthday is the 29th, so we know how crazy December birthdays can make a family. I hope you all enjoy ALL the big days!!
Yes, December is crazy. My mom’s is the 15th. Same as her mothers was. And her father, my grandfather turns 91 on the 29th. He is very fit and healthy. We are very blessed to still have him in our lives. Merry Christmas!
Happy Birthday! As I come up on 50 in 2014 I am looking forward to it not being too late for me to return to Grad School and get a degree in Counseling – I’ve always wanted to do that and now that my 2 boys will be in college I’m hoping to find the $$ somewhere to make MY dream a reality. Its NOT too late!
Leslie, that is AWESOME!! I still hope to complete a master’s degree someday. You will inspire your sons and so many others as your pursue your dream!!
I was a bit ambivalent about 35 as well, and I shudder to think some 35 year old fool like me could run for president! FOR SHAME! Happy birthday, friend.
I know. Can you even imagine? PRESIDENT. That is craziness.
35 is young! There is still more life ahead than behind!
I’m enjoying the beginning of a new-to-me family, debt elimination (again), travel plans, and who knows what else. My endings are many and just as real – but some things I’m glad are done!
Love all your beginnings and new journeys coming up! Enjoy it all!! :)
Happy Birthday to one of my favorite bloggers ~ you always speak to my heart and gosh, you’re “only” 35!! believe me, at 55 myself, 35 is just getting started ! Enjoy!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Tracy!! Merry Christmas!
Happy birthday, Mary!!
I feel myself shying away from 35 as well, probably because I want another baby and am not yet pregnant…which means if it happens for us, I’ll be over 35 when I give birth again. Which seems SO old (especially when a chunk of my students are also pregnant) But it’s not too late! Hang in there and have a GREAT day. Promise you won’t do any cleaning! :)
Thanks, Erin! Having a baby at 35 – or older – is NOT old. I will confess that the nurse I first saw this time around shocked me with all her talk of my “advanced maternal age” – but I got over it. Lots and lots of people have healthy pregnancies past our not-so-old old age. So I’ll just believe God with you – that if He has a larger family in mind for you, it WILL happen! :)
Happy Birthday!!
I’m looking forward to growing closer to my husband, becoming debt-free, and finally getting to be a SAHM. :)
Thanks!! And woohoo! Those are GREAT things to look forward to!
Hey there. I’m a faithful reader though I don’t usually comment but you pulled the birthday PLEA. What’s a faithful reader to do??? Alright, so the thing I’m still holding on to is a YA manuscript, almost finished, filling up my hard-drive and my head. Not sure where that will go but still plugging away. Happiest of birthdays to you, Mary!
Oh Becky, your comment made me laugh! THANK YOU for being a faithful reader – and giving into my birthday plea! ;) I hope you’ll keep me posted on your novel’s progress – I’d love to read your book and cheer you on!!
Thanks, Mary. I will =)
Happy Birthday!!
My story is that I had always wanted to live (or just stay after visiting) with my grandparents in CT. I have always lived in CA. Long story short, my father passed away last year and it looks like I will inherit said house and move there! I am now 48. You just never know. And the coolest things is that we found a bunch of there old stuff that was hidden in the attic. No one knew any of it still existed. God usually answers with a bonus. =)
May all your birthday wishes come true!
Love, love, love your story, Lina!!!
I haven’t had a chance to read this whole post but couldn’t miss a chance to wish you a Happy 35th Birthday!! Wow, I didn’t realize I’m older than you, eekers! {only by about 6 months, but still…} Lots of love!
Thank you, old friend! (Ha! See what I did there…?) ;)
Such a great post. Thank you. And a very happy birthday!
At 32, I still have hope that a spouse and children are going to be in the pages of my story though seeming more and more unlikely as time ticks on. Unsure if the window hasn’t really closed or if it was never actually open, but I also don’t want to live with an outlook based on whether either of those is true. Contentment while desiring, a hard line to balance.
Andrea, you are so right – finding the balance between contentment and hope is really hard!
Ugh. (Sorry.) Not that I want kids, but what if a future husband does? *Sigh.* Well, either one (kids or husband) will be a miracle for this girl. But with God all things are possible, right? Including being content with being different from the rest of the world. :/ On a more positive note, Happy Birthday!
Yep, it’s all possible with Him!
Writing a novel, speaking in public, teaching creative writing, working in ministry, and being a decent mom are all things I dream of doing!
I might be biased, but I think those are great dreams – and totally doable for you!