I’m on a super stressful deadline, so of course that means I’ve been reading even more mindless fluff than usual while feeding Adrienne. As I was skimming a silly romance that I’d already read (I know. Two strikes. Judge away.), I was reminded of an embarrassing realization I’d had a while back.
Do you know the music of Dusty Springfield? I don’t. And for years (yep. years.) I thought she was a make-believe singer created by novelists. I don’t know, you guys. I guess I thought all novelists (yeah…romance novelists) got together and agreed on one single folksy singer they would all write about. I don’t even know.
It’s just that I feel like I know a lot of music, okay? And I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard a single song by Dusty Springfield. So HOW COULD SHE BE REAL?
Right. I know. She is, and I’m dumb. Moving on…
As it turns out, that’s not the only weird or embarrassing confession this book nerd has for you today. {That’s right, friends! Embarrassing confessions, and it’s not even your birthday! Yay!}
Top 10 Confessions of a Book Nerd
- Dusty Springfield. We already went over this.
- Unshed – I read above my age level as a child and, as a result, was introduced to vocabulary I didn’t exactly hear on the playground. No, I don’t mean swear words! (Those I probably DID hear on the playground.) I mean bigger or more uncommon words – like unshed. As in, “unshed tears.” And because I didn’t hear them out loud, I didn’t always know how to pronounce them. (Remind me sometime to tell you about my use of “ethereal” in a college presentation.) No matter how old or smart I get (or how many people I hang out with that have great vocabularies), “unshed” will always be pronounced as one syllable. It kind of rhymes with “scrunched,” like the way your face looks when you’re trying not to cry…or shed tears.
- Skipping parts – I’m a fast reader. Not a speed reader. But a pretty fast one. (My retention leaves something to be desired, however, so even though he claims I’m a “better” reader, I say Mark – who remembers every.single.detail. of the things he [sloooowly] reads – is the better reader.) Sometimes, I must admit, my reading speed is helped along by my tendency to skip parts. Boring parts or detailed parts, certain graphic parts, ifyouknowwhatImean. I mean, FINE. Not ALWAYS. But sometimes.
- Covers – I absolutely judge books by their covers. Do you hear me, self-pubbed authors??? Even on my Kindle (or, these days, my Kindle app on my phone) I don’t want to borrow or buy books whose covers are completely cheesy or cheap or smutty or silly. Stock photography doesn’t cost THAT much (ahem, self-pubbed authors. TALKING TO YOU.).
- Covers, part deux – You know how, when a book is made into a movie, they reprint all the books with a new movie cover? I HATE THAT. I don’t even want to LOOK at it, much less pick it up and read it. I want to imagine how the characters look, not imagine them looking like movie stars! So I will search for an older copy. I mean…you know…assuming I haven’t read that super popular book by the time they make a movie out of it and everyone wants to see the movie and I do too but refuse to watch a movie before reading the book so I have to read the book now. Hypothetically.
- Top to bottom – I read every part of a book. The jacket – front, back, inside flaps (both of them). The foreword, the introduction, the dedication, the acknowledgements. Oh, I love acknowledgements! That’s where you really get to know the author. Love those things.
- And then there’s non-fiction – You all know I’m lousy with reading classics. I’m pretty bad with non-fiction, too – BUT I WANT TO BE BETTER. I try so hard. How could I not? My friends write non-fiction! I want to write non-fiction! I NEED TO READ NON-FICTION! And so I try. I TRY. And I’m good for about four chapters. It’s always four chapters. Four chapters in, and I know how awesome the book is – but Just. Can’t. Finish. I’m sorry, non-fiction authors. I love you. I love your books. I will finish them all someday. I will. Really. {Current exception to this rule: Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK, well past four chapters and all the way to the end.}
- FINE – Yesterday I tried to pick up a book I’d reserved at the library. Sadly, the computer spit out the words I dread most: USER BLOCKED. Yep. The library had simply given up hope that I’d ever return the three books I checked out in January (JANUARY) and was fining me about $50. And not letting me check out anything new. Jerks. No, no, I kid! They are right to be mad at me. And in case you’re wondering, I returned those three (unfinished) books later in the day. And yes, two were non-fiction. The other one was a massive time travel novel by Stephen King that really was good but HOLY WRIST SPRAIN it was just too long for me to get through right now.
- Educational reading – Despite my weakness for them, I’m well aware that romance novels are no good for nobody. HOWEVER. I have learned many things from reading them. NO. NO! Not THAT. I’m talking about history. Would I know anything about the Regency era if not for romance novels? Nope, I would not. And now? Now I know…things. I do. I mean, don’t quiz me. But I know things. HISTORY things.
- Browsing and rabbit trails – Several days after Adrienne was born (before I was cleared to drive), my mom offered to take me to the library, just to get out of the house. I appreciated her thinking of me, but was all full up in books right then – and I realized that browsing the shelves at the library is a past-time of the past. While I used to love walking up and down the aisles of the library, looking for a new author or book with a great cover, I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I click and click and click and read and read and read and scroll and scroll and scroll through reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. I know that’s dorky and probably seems like a waste of time to some. But for me, it’s my favorite kind of window shopping.
Okay, fellow book nerds…
What {embarrassing} confessions do you have?
Oh, and fellow nerds of all kinds, have you seen this video? SO FUNNY. [Click here to see the video, subscribers.]
I’m linking up to List It Tuesday with my friend Angie at Real Life at Home. Photo by Lauren Nelson.
Hi! I’m a new reader to your blog and I’m already in love! You have an awesome sense of humor!
You and I are kindred spirits. When I read “unshed” I totally said it in my head as one syllable! DUH!
I did know that Dusty Springfield was real though, only because of the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
My confession: I have a totally arbitrary page number of 75 in my head. If I don’t like the book by page 75, I give myself permission to chuck it. I’m sure I’m missing out on awesome endings due to this rule, but as a mom of 2 small children, my reading time is precious and I don’t want to want to waste it on a book I’m not into.
Were you referring to The Fault In Our Stars (#5)? :)
Hi Sarah! I’m so glad you’re here!! :) I think your page 75 rule is smart. I hate not finishing books (novels, that is – obviously I’m cool with stopping mid-way through a non-fiction book, SIGH), but you’re right. We only get so much time to read so it needs to be a good book we’re reading!
Oh, as for The Fault in Our Stars – I wasn’t referring to it specifically, although it’s a great example! I just read the book and hate seeing the previews for the movie now, because I really wish I’d had the chance to create the characters in my mind. (I saw a preview before reading it, though I’d had it sitting on my Kindle for months.) :)
I pronounced (in my mind) ‘segue’ wrong for the longest time. And don’t get me started on written representations of speech sounds, like ‘tsk, tsk, tsk’.
I love being able to “shop” for anything, including books, online. If I would’ve been a mom of young children in days of yore, I would’ve been screwed. I think it’s actually more efficient to find books you want to read by browsing amazon (than by browsing library shelves) cause you get the benefit of all the reviews and lists of similar books/authors. I like to find a stack of books I’d like to read and then “request” them at my library’s website. That way, they’re all in one spot waiting for me when I run in to grab them; I don’t have to search for call numbers while my 2-year-old pulls books off of shelves with impressive efficiency.
Sliced bread has NOTHING on the invention of the library’s online book request. I love being able to run in, grab the exact books I want off the reserve shelf and run out!
3 through 6 totally apply to me and are of the utmost in book reading! Also, I will always be a holder of books…can’t help myself. I have online books but it isn’t the same as holding one in your hand!
I do love holding books, but these days I’m thankful for my Kindle and Kindle app on my phone. Reading that way while feeding my baby is about the only time I’m reading right now. I do look forward to making time to read “real” books again, though!!
Book covers…I’m with you all the way, especially with movie covers. I hate movie covers!
My problem now is that I really want to buy the Harry Potter series with the new covers, even though I have the whole series already! But I like the new covers much more than the originals! I’ve held off so far, but man, am I tempted!
Skipping parts: I tend to do that and not realize it, until later when I begin to think I missed something. So I have to go back and find the vital info I missed. Usually it’s only a paragraph or two, but one time, I skipped over two or three pages without realizing it!
And my confession: I don’t have a library card. Apparently, cards are only valid for 3 years at my library. Mine expired a couple of years ago and I haven’t renewed. I keep intending to, but I have enough to read at home that I don’t think about going to the library.
Yes, yes – pretty new covers are fun. (And now I’m off down the rabbit trail, looking for the new HP covers…)
Don’t tell, but when reading a really suspenseful book sometimes I look at the last page. Not to see who done it coz that would ruin the book, but to see if my favorite character is still alive!
Your secret is safe with me! :)
Go Mary! I love this post, because of course, I love books too! I have piles and bookshelves full. Some read, some not. And my daughters got me a Kindle Paperwhite for Christmas and I am loving it!
I agree as to the loss of the library days and that I, too, hate the new book jackets whenever they make a movie. No bueno!
Enjoy your reading time! Oh, and the embarrassing part? I had to stop reading when my girls were small because the stories were so interesting that lunch time was sometimes delayed. I found I couldn’t keep up with my books and my kids. =)
Oh, goodness, if I started admitting the things and people I’ve neglected because of a good book, I’d have a whole other post to write! ;)
This is hilarious, especially the part about what we in the library world refer to as “LODs” (long overdue books). That totally made me laugh out loud because you are NOT the only person in the world to do that! Those of us who work for libraries have even been known to have LODs from time to time.
My confession? I read the last page first. Every book. Every time. If the ending stinks, I don’t want to waste my time getting There!
Glad to know I’m not alone, Marie. :) The most embarrassing one was when I kept a season of the ABC Family TV show, Greek, on DVD too long. I wanted to make sure they got it checked in and didn’t charge me the 60-some dollars, but ohhhh, was my face red when I took that one up to the desk!
I love you….No really! This article is fabulous and it is so ME! As a reading teacher and fellow book nerd, I am guilty and yet strangely proud of everyone of your 10 confessions…Love this blog! Keep up the great work! Just received my copy of Rhinestone Jesus…Impatiently waiting on my summer break to begin the adventure of diving into it…So glad to hear so many fabulous things about the book!
Yes, Rhinestone Jesus IS fantastic. I know Kristen personally so I know much of her story, but reading it in one narrative is amazing. Seeing what God has done with her and through her? Just mind-blowing and heart-changing, truly.
“Unshed” makes me laugh. There’s a whole list of words that I use comfortably in my writing but am scared to say out loud for fear that I have it All. Wrong. Case in point: ephemera.
I know. I don’t know why, either.
I would never choose to say “ephemera” out loud. I’m just not that brave.
This…is me! (except for reading the acknowledgements…I rarely ever read those!)
Funny story…I was well into my twenties before I realized the word ‘misled’ was pronounced miss-led…I’d always thought it was pronounced my-sulled. I felt like such a dork when someone finally corrected me!
Oh no! I can see that pronunciation. It makes about as much sense as my “unshed.” :)
I totally hate redone covers too and make a point to avoid the new covered versions of books! Also, can’t movie people make up ANY new stories? Cause it seems to me EVERY SINGLE MOVIE is a book now. Perhaps screenwriters have just gotten really lazy?
I am with you on nonfiction. I will read memoirs, because they read like fiction. But I have a REALLY hard time reading regular nonfiction, as helpful as I know it can be!
(Confession: I get super fangirl when I read YA stuff I love. But I think that’s almost normal in our society.)
Yes, I think somehow “fangirl” has become the norm. Still, I’m glad you are – because you told me about the Lunar Chronicles, which I LOVED. :)
You just might be my sibling or something. Just saying!
I totally judge books by their covers. I can’t bring myself to read books on a device because their covers suck.
I do skim a lot of parts (extreme details, etc.) but read fast. My retention isn’t the best either.
I love being a book nerd. I read so many different genres! I was already reading before I entered kindergarten and was always a few grades ahead of my peers in regards to reading and comprehension and writing. Thanks mom! LOL We spent so much time at the library when I was little (she was a book worm, too!)
Found you via the SITS Girls Thread!
Thanks for stopping by, Jaime! We definitely have a lot in common as book nerds! :)
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