Confessions of a Book Nerd by

I’m on a super stressful deadline, so of course that means I’ve been reading even more mindless fluff than usual while feeding Adrienne. As I was skimming a silly romance that I’d already read (I know. Two strikes. Judge away.), I was reminded of an embarrassing realization I’d had a while back.

Do you know the music of Dusty Springfield? I don’t. And for years (yep. years.) I thought she was a make-believe singer created by novelists. I don’t know, you guys. I guess I thought all novelists (yeah…romance novelists) got together and agreed on one single folksy singer they would all write about. I don’t even know.

It’s just that I feel like I know a lot of music, okay? And I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard a single song by Dusty Springfield. So HOW COULD SHE BE REAL?

Right. I know. She is, and I’m dumb. Moving on…

As it turns out, that’s not the only weird or embarrassing confession this book nerd has for you today. {That’s right, friends! Embarrassing confessions, and it’s not even your birthday! Yay!}

Top 10 Confessions of a Book Nerd

  1. Dusty Springfield. We already went over this.
  2. Unshed – I read above my age level as a child and, as a result, was introduced to vocabulary I didn’t exactly hear on the playground. No, I don’t mean swear words! (Those I probably DID hear on the playground.) I mean bigger or more uncommon words – like unshed. As in, “unshed tears.” And because I didn’t hear them out loud, I didn’t always know how to pronounce them. (Remind me sometime to tell you about my use of “ethereal” in a college presentation.) No matter how old or smart I get (or how many people I hang out with that have great vocabularies), “unshed” will always be pronounced as one syllable. It kind of rhymes with “scrunched,” like the way your face looks when you’re trying not to cry…or shed tears.
  3. Skipping parts – I’m a fast reader. Not a speed reader. But a pretty fast one. (My retention leaves something to be desired, however, so even though he claims I’m a “better” reader, I say Mark – who remembers every.single.detail. of the things he [sloooowly] reads – is the better reader.) Sometimes, I must admit, my reading speed is helped along by my tendency to skip parts. Boring parts or detailed parts, certain graphic parts, ifyouknowwhatImean. I mean, FINE. Not ALWAYS. But sometimes.
  4. Covers – I absolutely judge books by their covers. Do you hear me, self-pubbed authors??? Even on my Kindle (or, these days, my Kindle app on my phone) I don’t want to borrow or buy books whose covers are completely cheesy or cheap or smutty or silly. Stock photography doesn’t cost THAT much (ahem, self-pubbed authors. TALKING TO YOU.).
  5. Covers, part deux – You know how, when a book is made into a movie, they reprint all the books with a new movie cover? I HATE THAT. I don’t even want to LOOK at it, much less pick it up and read it. I want to imagine how the characters look, not imagine them looking like movie stars! So I will search for an older copy. I mean…you know…assuming I haven’t read that super popular book by the time they make a movie out of it and everyone wants to see the movie and I do too but refuse to watch a movie before reading the book so I have to read the book now. Hypothetically.
  6. Top to bottom – I read every part of a book. The jacket – front, back, inside flaps (both of them). The foreword, the introduction, the dedication, the acknowledgements. Oh, I love acknowledgements! That’s where you really get to know the author. Love those things.
  7. And then there’s non-fiction – You all know I’m lousy with reading classics. I’m pretty bad with non-fiction, too – BUT I WANT TO BE BETTER. I try so hard. How could I not? My friends write non-fiction! I want to write non-fiction! I NEED TO READ NON-FICTION! And so I try. I TRY. And I’m good for about four chapters. It’s always four chapters. Four chapters in, and I know how awesome the book is – but Just. Can’t. Finish. I’m sorry, non-fiction authors. I love you. I love your books. I will finish them all someday. I will. Really. {Current exception to this rule: Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK, well past four chapters and all the way to the end.}
  8. FINE – Yesterday I tried to pick up a book I’d reserved at the library. Sadly, the computer spit out the words I dread most: USER BLOCKED. Yep. The library had simply given up hope that I’d ever return the three books I checked out in January (JANUARY) and was fining me about $50. And not letting me check out anything new. Jerks. No, no, I kid! They are right to be mad at me. And in case you’re wondering, I returned those three (unfinished) books later in the day. And yes, two were non-fiction. The other one was a massive time travel novel by Stephen King that really was good but HOLY WRIST SPRAIN it was just too long for me to get through right now.
  9. Educational reading – Despite my weakness for them, I’m well aware that romance novels are no good for nobody. HOWEVER. I have learned many things from reading them. NO. NO! Not THAT. I’m talking about history. Would I know anything about the Regency era if not for romance novels? Nope, I would not. And now? Now I know…things. I do. I mean, don’t quiz me. But I know things. HISTORY things.
  10. Browsing and rabbit trails – Several days after Adrienne was born (before I was cleared to drive), my mom offered to take me to the library, just to get out of the house. I appreciated her thinking of me, but was all full up in books right then – and I realized that browsing the shelves at the library is a past-time of the past. While I used to love walking up and down the aisles of the library, looking for a new author or book with a great cover, I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I click and click and click and read and read and read and scroll and scroll and scroll through reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. I know that’s dorky and probably seems like a waste of time to some. But for me, it’s my favorite kind of window shopping.

Okay, fellow book nerds…

What {embarrassing} confessions do you have?

Oh, and fellow nerds of all kinds, have you seen this video? SO FUNNY. [Click here to see the video, subscribers.]

I’m linking up to List It Tuesday with my friend Angie at Real Life at Home. Photo by Lauren Nelson.

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