You know what’s awesome about kids? The way they show you exactly who you are. Yep, their ability to be darling little mirrors, zinging you with never-before-seen clarity to the depths of your very soul. Thank you, children, for making undeniably clear every single one of my weaknesses.
I was recently talking about my girls and their strong-willed and stubborn natures (AHEM.), and I summed it up this way: “They like to do what they want to do, when they want to do it.”
She’s so sweet…when she wants to be.
She’s so well-spoken…when she wants to be.
She never sticks her fingers in her nose…unless she wants to.
You know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever met a child person, you know what I’m talking about. Sure, my girls are – I swear to you – more bullheaded than the average bear (than the average bull? I don’t know. This metaphor has gotten out of control…). But kids as a rule are self-centered and, in many cases, as controlling as we’ll let them be.
In a perfect world I would be very different than that. But, basically, that’s exactly how I am, pretty much most of the time. Like I said: Thanks to my children, who remind me of my oh-so-humanness.
Lately I’ve been thinking about this tendency of mine to do things only when I want to…or to like things only when I’m in control…and I realized that it’s exactly how I relate to change.
When it’s MY idea? I love change.
When it’s out of my control? I hate change.
That’s why, as giddy excited as I’ve been for my friend Kristen’s book, Girl Meets Change: Truths to Carry You Through Life’s Transitions, I haven’t been sure how to talk about it. Because when I started thinking about the idea of change, I fooled myself [for a while] into believing I was totally good with it. A real change pro. A big fan.
Yeah, yeah, people who’ve known me for a while, I know. That’s obviously NOT the whole picture. But if I only consider the change that I instigate, then my relationship to the idea of change IS a warm one. Enthusiastic, even.
At every job I’ve ever had, I’ve tried to change things.
Honestly, I’ve often believed that I needed to change things.
And though I’ve lived in the same house for more than 12 years, it’s not for lack of trying to move. To another school district, to another town, to another state. I’ve tried SO HARD to move away from this place!
Back to the job kind of change? Just take a look at my resume. The one that takes up two pages not for my skills and accomplishments, but for the sheer quantity of different jobs over the years.
So in a lot of ways, I like change. The kind of change I see as necessary and originates with me? It’s kind of MY THING.
But other change? Like changing my diet or my approach to parenting or my communication habits with my husband or the side of bed I sleep on or my hair color or the time I wake up in the morning? Yeah. NOT SO MUCH.
So don’t even get me started on real, big changes – the unexpected ones like getting laid off from a job you loved or getting that phone call about the accident that changes your family forever. Those changes can be hard to swallow, to say the least.
And that’s where Girl Meets Change comes in. Kristen Strong, a military wife, a mom, and one of my very favorite writer friends, knows a little bit about change. And how hard it can be. And how much you want to fight it and ignore it and punch it in the face a little bit.
And how good it can be when you accept it as a gift from God along the path He’s laid for you, rather than a stumbling block to the plan He has for you. Here’s a little more about Girl Meets Changes: Truths to Carry You Through Life’s Transitions:
In this hope-filled book, Kristen invites you to see all the ways you are loved and cared for in the midst of change. She walks alongside you as a friend, gently ushering you toward a new view of change, one that meets you at the crossroads of your own sense of anxiety and God’s sense of purpose. With practical advice for coping in every part of life, she draws from her own experiences, the stories of others, and stories from Scripture to help you find contentment, purpose, and renewed strength.
Friends, I wish I was better at dealing with unexpected or uncontrollable change. But I think with Kristen’s guidance, I’ll get there. So today I’m not sorry that I have a complicated relationship with change – and I’m thankful for the grace to handle it. (And a book that makes me laugh and cry and nod my head and grin and highlight All The Good Stuff.)
And, by the way, Girl Meets Change is less than $10 on Amazon right now.
What kind of relationship do you have with change?
This post is part of the 31 Days Writing Challenge. To read all the posts in this series, click here. And to learn more about this challenge or to find more series to read, visit Write31Days.com. Apple photos courtesy of my brother, James.