I’ve always been what you might call particular. Or, if you’re so inclined, persnickety. I prefer to say I’m exact or, you know, a fan of things being correct.
Whatever you call it, this characteristic has served me well when it comes to my understanding and use of the English language.
Yes, you know it. I’m one of those. I’m a card-carrying member of The Grammar Police. I’m a spelling bee lover. I’m a nerd.
That’s why becoming a professional proofreader was just about the most sensible job change I’ve ever made. (And let me just remind you I have made more than a few job changes in my life.)
So it’s a bit ironic that it was at this very job that I discovered what has become my favorite quote:
is giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
What? But my job is based on being perfect! If I’m not perfect, then we’re all in trouble!
Um, no. Not really. It turns out that missing a typo on an ad for dog food does not, in fact, cause the world to stop turning.
Allegedly Apparently, nobody really expects me to be perfect.
What a relief! And, honestly, what a struggle. It’s hard for me to accept less than the best, even from – no, especially from – myself. It turns out I’m not alone in this struggle.
Joan C. Webb, a recovering workaholic and perfectionist, has written several books on this very topic, including her newest, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. This devotional is a collection of daily reminders that God wants and longs to relieve women from living in a continually overwhelmed state. By reducing our unrealistic expectations, we can find the difference between “trying too hard to make it all just right” (mental chase for flawlessness, which is impossible) and “partnering with God for excellence” (enjoying quality in balance, which is not only possible, but reasonable).
Today, I have the opportunity to share with you one of the devotions from Joan’s book.
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Mark of a Perfect Perfectionist
To all perfection I see a limit. – Psalm 119:96
For months I meticulously planned for a state-wide writing seminar. I wrote confirmation letters, signed contracts, made phones calls and took notes. Schedules and menus were verified, deposits made, and attendance counts submitted.
I arrived at the hall on the designated morning to discover the speaker and board members standing on the sidewalk in the cold. All doors were locked. A security guard drove by, felt sorry for us and let us in. Once inside, we found no podium, microphone or breakfast setup. I made some phone calls and a half an hour later learned that the mix-up was due to someone’s faulty alarm clock. He would take a shower, get dressed and come set-up for us. Obviously, this would happen past our starting time.
We had no control over these circumstances, but we had a choice: We could ignore reality (remember, that’s the mark of a perfect perfectionist!) and force through our perfectly planned agenda, consequently experiencing mounting stress, or we could smile, be flexible and bypass the frustration.
We chose to laugh and start the seminar late. The situation confirmed to me again that trying to be a perfect person in an imperfect world is impossible. It also showed me something else: I can change. And that’s no small miracle! Thank you, Lord.
Help me learn to be flexible and adjust to changing circumstances.
Make It Personal: What happened to you this week that you had absolutely no control over? What did you like or not like about how you handled it?
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This post is part of a blog tour traveling the Internet over the next several days. The next devotional will be posted on A Future Pastor’s Wife on Monday, and you can see all the posts on Joan’s site.
How do you deal with less-than-perfect situations you have no control over?
A blog tour? How much fun!
And I'm sure you know that I can't relate AT ALL to this.
Hardy har har.
Let's see- this week let's go with my new workout. I started this new workout that everyone raves about and they really push you. AS IN, push you till you might cry.
I did push ups Thursday morning (70 of them- for the love) in with lots of other things. And Friday my arms couldn't move. Literally. Couldn't. Move.
So, I have been taking pain pills (lovely, huh) and doing a big bunch of nothing. Good thing I didn't have to do anything!
Even better- Jason came home sick on Thursday about an hour before I was headed to a meeting that I was leading (had the food agendas and am in charge). He is gray and about to pass out and I'm walking out the door. Peachy?!
So I called in my lovely neighbor to come watch him and play with the kids.
Talk about feeling out of control! I'm so thankful I had someone to call!!
And would love to read that book- sounds like what I need!
I really like that verse. :)
My aunt once asked me, "Why would you expect things to go as you expect?" (something like that anyway:) It's always stuck with me, b/c it's a very good point (not that I always follow it though, of course;).
This post was exactly what I needed to read today!
I had "one of those weeks" where I realized *again* that my natural tendency is to try to control things. Especially when I have NO ability to control the situation.
We had a reorganization announced at work on Tuesday. Personally, I think the changes are going to help matters. But, I apparently had some discomfort with them, because I acted out when I encountered another perfectionist on my team expressing her opinions about the change (opinions that were 180 degrees from mine). Instead of letting her express herself, I tried to make my point by talking over her and talking louder and louder. I'm not proud of this.
My discomfort with the way I acted prompted a full week of soul searching about my perfectionist ways. Ugh.
:) It's a good thing it's Saturday and I can take the weekend to be nice to myself and regroup! It's a journey, right? We don't have to be perfect to enjoy it!
Good Saturday Morning, Mary and all those who have already left comments. Thanks for sharing your stories. Love them.
Yes, it IS an ongoing journey as we cease "trying too hard to make it all just right." May we all be gentle with ourselves and others as we move intentionally into living a new, more realistic way of living–and partnering with God for excellence.
Mary, thanks for hosting the 11th stop on the Wonderful (Imperfect) Life BLOG TOUR!
Relief blessings,
Joan
I really appreciate this post…and i'm gonna check out the rest of the tour!
How do I deal? I usually freak out!
:)
When things are out of control I try to remain calm and go into problem-solving mode. It does no good to panic and freak out.
Excellent post! And thanks for using the word persnickety :) – I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes that word, LOL.
I'm a professional proofreader too and I love it. Glad to have found a fellow nerd. :)
Thanks for sharing this book with us!!
You an' me? Cut from the same cloth. It's like being a little kid – it's so confusing being rewarded for behavior part of the time and then punished for it the other. Perfectionism? You are a cruel mistress!
Thanks for sharing …