@gitzengirl and @marycarver
My blog calendar says that tonight I’m supposed to write a post about last week’s trip to Hilton Head. And my calendar also says I have another deadline tonight, and though I have the topic and a couple of sentences drafted [in my head], I will not be meeting that deadline.
I have no words today.
My friend Sara (you might know her as @gitzengirl) is dying. She’s been very sick for a long time, and this week she’s entered the last stretch of her journey.
And I have no words.
Sara’s other friends have been sharing the most beautiful, heart-full, God-honoring, friend-loving words all day long. Comments on her blog and messages on her Facebook page and e-mails shared with mutual friends – they’re all full of amazing words.
And I have none.
My friend is dying, and I don’t understand. I believe. I do. But this is hard. And this hurts. And those simple sad words are all I have.
Please read Sara’s story. It’s beautiful and full of the words I can’t find.
Oh, I am so sorry. I had only recently discovered Sara’s blog, so I don’t know her as many others do. I mostly know that she has a beautiful and joyful spirit, she seems way stronger than I could be, her dog is just precious and even though she has been homebound, she means the world to a whole lot of people. I’m praying for her and for you, too.
Amy, you summed up my friend so well here. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.
Wow. I’d found Sara’s blog from (in)courage, had started recently following her on Twitter, and reading up on her health. The latest blog post I’d seen was about her taking a break so I hadn’t even looked over there since. In reading your post, I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing for a sec. I’m just floored.
Obviously trusting our Savior, but heartbroken for all those who love her dearly. In the short time I’ve gotten to know her a little bit, she’s touched my heart & life. It’s soooo hard. Wow. I’m so so so very sorry friend. I’m praying for you, for Sara as she departs this world and joins up with her beloved Savior, and for all those affected by it.
Big, big, big hugs from afar, my friend. My heart hurts for you.
Thank you for your kind words. :)
I’m so sorry Mary. I just came across Sara’s blog, and she is a sweet, sweet woman. It’s a heartbreaking and painful time, but I’m rejoicing that it’s a time she can spend with her family here on earth, before meeting her family in heaven.
*Big hugs to you.*
Thanks, Sarah!
I have no words either. Let’s sit together and hold hands and weep our grief, then smile because she is so loved. The words will come. Perhaps. But it is ok to be still.
Yes, sometimes being still is all we can do. Thanks, Jen. :)
I’m so sorry, Mary. I understand completely about the no words. Sometimes there just aren’t any.
Thank you, Mindy.
I just “met” Sara yesterday. I think I might have been on her blog maybe one other time. Yesterday, I read for over an hour. What an amazing woman of God.
I actually commented on the last post that Shannon put it up. A rare thing for me – to comment on someone I haven’t read a lot. But, I was moved. I was sobbing (in the Starbucks I might add). I was hurting.
However, my pain wasn’t for Sara. My pain and my yearning and my fervent prayers are for Shannon and YOU and all those who surround Sara right now. All those who love her. All those who will always keep a piece of her in their hearts.
I KNOW the pain you are feeling. I GET that. I understand the confusion. The “why?” The lack of words. The overwhelming thoughts. The knowledge that your friend is going to be rejoicing (and you are thankful for that) but that you are going to be hurting. Because there will be a hole in your life where she once was.
I pray for you now Mary. I pray that the love and mercy of Jesus Christ will fill that hole that if forming. I pray that His grace will surround you and comfort you and hold you. I pray that He will be glorified (as He already is) with Sara’s passing and that you are able to see that glory and hold on to it.
Love you girl.
Sometimes the fact that you have no words speaks volumes as far as how much you care for your friend. Hugs to you!
Thank you, Colleen!
I am praying for you now, Mary. May the Lord comfort your heart and soul as He welcomes Sarah home.
Thank you, Brittany!
i’ve been there. the girl who always has something to say who can’t find the words, the right words, that will make it all make sense. that will make it all feel right. that will offer hope. because there are moments like this in life, that make no sense, that seem so unfair, that cut us so deeply, that our words don’t seem enough. your love for sara can be felt through your post. where you think your head failed you, your heart picked up and said it all.
Thank you so much for your comment.
I’ve been thinking about you for the last 2 days… I have some great comfort in knowing that you and Candy are not far from Gitz. I have great comfort from the effort that you and Jessica created at the beginning of the year to honor and bless Gitz.
sometimes the greatest gift you can give during these times are the gift of your presence… and today, just by showing up sweet friend, you have blessed us each with that. Thank you… bless you…
Jenny, thank you for your sweet words.
I’m so sorry, Mary. I have read Sara’s blog here and there, and I found myself weeping over this last night.
I don’t know Sara and had not heard about this until now. The words on her blog bring me to tears. It looks like she has touched so many lives. I will be praying.
Thank you.
Mary–I’ve been trying to get on Skype today to talk to you about Sara. I did not even know who she was until yesterday (when I read her blog for like an hour). How is that possible?! And now today–as I’m setting up for Asa’s party (hence, the not-getting-on-skype) I have been thinking only of Sara and her family and friends. And how God can draw people together through the computer. I just. I don’t know. I have no words either. I just wanted you to know that I join you in prayer. And I’m just so thankful that we serve God. Because OH, what would this be like without him?
Hey, I’m just now replying, but I got your comment right away. And was thankful for it. Thank you. Love you.
Oh Mary! Praying for you, and Sara and her friends and family.
I didn’t realize you had met Sara! She has been on my mind continuously.