It’s not often that I’m accused of doing it all. My friends don’t usually say [sincerely, sarcastically or otherwise], “Oh, you’re so good. How on earth do you do it all?” I mean, I guess a few people – women who don’t know me well at all – might have said those things. But not often. And not lately.
Since I started working again, I’m barely keeping my head above water. Actually, that’s only true if “keeping my head above water” is code for “feeding myself and my family and not much else.” My list of to-dos is more accurately described as a list of missed deadlines and things I’m never going to finish.
Yet, even as I say that and as often as I admit my shortcomings and sinks full of dirty dishes, I know that the life I show the world – the new recipes or the summer bucket list or the books I’m reading or whatever – might present a different picture. So, just in case you think it’s easy for me to talk about giving up on perfect because I’m secretly Super Woman who actually can do everything [and do it well], I thought I’d share a list of the things that I don’t do.
What I Don’t Do {it’s a long list!}
Get up early. I know, I know. Early bird, worms, gotcha. But the thing is, I am simply not a morning person. Sure, I feel good when I miraculously manage to pull myself out of bed earlier than normal. But I. Hate. Doing. It. And you can’t even really blame me on this one, as it truly is my parents’ fault. That’s right. When I was little, my dad worked evenings and my mom let me stay up late until he got home. Or until M*A*S*H was over. Either way, staying up late was drilled into me at a young age, and I’ve given up fighting it. I am, for better or worse, a night owl.
Iron. Oh, the humanity! If there is one chore that will put me over the edge faster than a whining child in the grocery store line (who, you know, happens to belong to me), it is ironing. I detest it. Despise it. Can’t stand it. And so, I don’t do it. I buy clothes that don’t need ironing and use my dryer and anti-wrinkle spray stuff liberally.
Sew. Okay, look, gun to my head, can I sew? Yes, I can. But I really don’t like it. I’m talking about picking out fabric, following a pattern, threading a machine and all that. If a button pops off in our house, I do sew them back on. But I do not, under any circumstances, make clothes. Or curtains. Or blankets. Or anything that requires a pattern, a needle, thread or all of the above. And, though all the other women in my family do sew – and very well – I don’t even feel bad about this. It’s just not my thing. (Besides, my mom has been teaching Annalyn about sewing this summer. So as long as the sewing gene only skips one generation, like the cleaning gene apparently did, we’re good.)
Coupon. I love you. And I’m happy that you saved a million dollars last year and have 47 boxes of Ritz crackers in your basement. But I do not have the time or – more honestly – the inclination to sit at my dining room table with coupons and sale papers and cookbooks and grocery spreadsheets spread out like I’m in some kind of domestic war room every week. I. Just. Can’t. Do. It. (Plus, I’ve tried. And after an entire lifetime of eating and buying almost all store brand foods, it’s really not worth it for us.)
Run. I wish I could run. I dream of running. As in, actual dreams while I sleep of running free and fast. I see Facebook status updates from every other person in the world who is running and am filled with envy. But at least for now, this body is not cut out for running. Insert sad trombone sound here.
Dry my hair. You know what makes a person look put together? Dry hair. You know what makes a person look like she really can’t get it together at all? Wet hair. I know this. I do. And yet nine mornings out of 10, I leave the house with wet hair. Don’t blame my parents on this one. I was raised better than that.
Clean my floors [often]. Big surprise, right? I do wish I was better at this, but I’m not. So just keep your shoes on when you come over, okay?
Garden. As a solid indoorsy person (and one with major allergies to boot!), it would never in a million years occur to me to spend my weekends digging in my yard. Never.
Scrapbook. Ohhhhh, this is a sad one! I love scrapbooking, but I have not found the time for it in a couple years now. I’ve even added “purge scrapbooking supplies” to my to-do list. Who knows? I may pick it up again in the future. But for now, I’m satisfied with Shutterfly photo books and Facebook albums.
Redecorate my house. In the years Mark and I lived in our house before having Annalyn, we spent a lot of our extra time, money and energy making each room our own. I loved picking out paint colors and prints or frames for the walls, and I was always trying new candles or shelves or fake fruit in a bowl arrangements. However, that is the first thing that went by the wayside when we started our family! We finished the big house projects and decorated a nursery while I was pregnant and then, other than moving Annalyn into another room and making it pretty, pretty pink, I haven’t changed much at all.
Send birthday cards. You know that person who always send sweet thinking-of-you cards in the mail and never misses a birthday? Yeah, I want to be her. But despite my collection of great greeting cards sitting on my desk, I’m not that person at all. Heck, I’m not even the person who mails giveaway prizes, Christmas cards or care packages on time.
Watch the news. I worked in some form of public relations for 10 years. And yet I never developed an appreciation for the local news. Much as I want to be informed and intelligent, I just can’t bring myself to tune in to the latest report of who got shot, who got robbed and who got traded to another team.
Finish non-fiction books. It’s true. I rarely finish non-fiction books. I may love the first four chapters and know, without a doubt, that this book is well-written and probably life-changing. But the odds of me actually finishing it are not good. I love me some fiction, but the real stuff that requires me to think and change and do? Well, now, how fun is that? So, in all honesty, I really struggle doing it (even though I want to). I’m a non-fiction slacker.
Of course, that’s just the beginning of the long list of things I don’t do. All those crafts I’ve pinned or bookmarked? The science experiments and backyard games? Nope. My poor kiddo has to make do with coloring books and play-dough. And I’ve had “dining room wall” on my project list for about a year, in hopes that I will find the time and money to create a frame/art gallery on our wall . . . but last week I finally put the empty frame, unframed poster and metal word artwork on my “maybe at the next house” shelf in the garage.
I don’t do it all. I don’t do anywhere close to all. I choose the things that are important and do my best to make them happen. And the rest of it? Well, I’m learning that it’s not the end of the world if I move some of these things from my to-do list to my wish list – or even admit that they don’t really have a place on any of my lists.
What about you? What do you NOT do?
P.S. The inspiration for this post are all the great “what I don’t do” posts I’ve read over the years. Thank you to these bloggers for being honest and encouraging me with their to-don’t lists! Musings of a Housewife, The Tiny Twig, Simple Mom, The Diaper Diaries, The Tiny Twig (again), Simple Homeschool, and Simple Mom (again).
You’ve got to keep your shoes on at my house, too, because seriously … I mop about four times per year! Ugh!
Mopping. Blergh. (Although I will say that I love my Swiffer wet jet. It isn’t perfect but keeps me from getting down on my knees to scrub. Mostly. When I get around to it.)
Mary, after reading your list, I realized that I identify with 10 of those items. That may or may not make us sisters separated at birth. :)
Of course we are sisters. :)
I actually like to garden (bio major) and clip the coupons for things I know we will buy, but I agree about ironing and the floors. And, I have a hairy dog and a toddler, so my deficiency is much greater!
But does that hairy dog lick up spills from the toddler? Some of my dog-owner friends swear by that cleaning method. ;) Doesn’t work so well with two hairy cats…
Wow, you are a girl after my own heart. Thanks for a shot in the arm today. I suddenly feel so much better about myself, seriously! YAY! I stay up all night and sleep all morning, for starters, then I can just go down your whole list in total, kindred spirit agreement :) I avoid blogs where the gals seem so accomplished and…um…perfect. DEPRESSING and FORGET IT!
Haha! Glad you enjoyed this post, Kathy! Girls who don’t do it all UNITE! :)
There are SO.MANY of these that I identify with! I should write my own blog post like this topic. I guess that’s what is trending in blogs lately, anyway :)
Oh, and on Pinterest, I created a Board called, “Crafts I think are cute but will probably never make,” because I am at least realistic with SOME things on Pinterest. The Board to counter that Board is one of things I actually did because of Pinterest.
I purposely bought a dryer that has a steam cycle. Seriously, it’s the best thing ever for me in the mornings. I LOATHE ironing, and since I sleep late and go to work with wet hair, too, throwing my clothes in the steam cycle for 15 minutes works MIRACLES. I’ve always been a fan of fluffing my clothes in the dryer before work, but the steam cycle really does the job well!
I’m definitely putting “steam cycle” on my must-have list for my next dryer!!
Thanks so much for that. I feel much better, now.
Glad to help. ;)
So appreciate this :)
I don’t do any of those things either. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. :) Well, I guess there are two exceptions: I do dry my hair (but haven’t always) and sometimes I run — as in, walk a song or two, then jog a song. But that’s it. And there are other things I don’t do that you probably do — like take out my trash and clean out the litterbox on a regular enough basis. See, now that’s TMI, and you probably never want to come back to my house now. ;) And I don’t even have the excuse of a family! Or even a job right now! (summers off) Pathetic. I have definitely given up on being perfect. ;)
Not pathetic. Just giving up on perfect! :)
I identify with your entire list! I don’t know where the iron is, I shower at night so I don’t have to dry my hair, and I just don’t understand runners! :)
I had started showering at night to get around my hair issue, too, but then I got it cut shorter and it didn’t work. It’s kind of a trade-off for this lazy girl. Long hair, can shower at night. Short hair, can air dry in car on the way to work. :)
HA! I know where my iron is, but only because I have to when we need to iron the melty beads!
Oh my gosh. We are twins, you and me.
You and I?
Another thing I won’t do?
Speak/write/type with correct subject/object pronouns.
(I could clearly be a contestant on the Bachelor/ette franchise. Were it not for my muffintop and the whole already happliy married thing.)
So, see there? Just add “Be a contestant on the Bachelor [even though I totally could]” and it looks like it’s all on purpose! Haha!
You know, the early bird may have an advantage, but the early worm sure doesn’t!
I do spend time with the Father each morning, writing in my prayer journal, but I don’t bother saying yes to every board or non-profit or church group that wants me to take on yet another project!
Carol, that sounds smart. We have to pick and choose, don’t we?
Ditto…ditto…ditto, etc…Feeling keen sisterhood with all of the other “do not” doers!
Haha! I feel like we should have an official name. Sisterhood of the Don’t Doers? Then again, we can just add “doesn’t come up with catchy names” to my list…
I don’t burn the midnight oil (lights out by 9pm). I don’t watch TV much or movies either (so I am clueless when people talk actors and actress talk). I don’t dust (much) luckily when it gets bad my husband attacks it. I also don’t iron. I don’t cook fancy meals (pancakes for dinner is a regular occasion).
Mmmmm…pancakes for dinner sounds good!
You are hilarious. I love you. And out of that list, I think the only things I DO do is run and get up early. And those are truly selfish acts. I love it. It’s my alone time.
That sounds smart to me, not selfish!
I don’t … do any of the things you mentioned except get up early. Love this post and am happy to join you in all the don’ts. Keep ’em coming!
Haha! I’m sure I will keep “let’s not do this stuff” posts coming! :)
I love this post! You are great at phrasing these in such a way that anyone who does do them would start to think maybe they shouldn’t and it’s all just a waste of time. Especially the coupon one; I’ve thought the same thing numerous times. A few other things I don’t do: shower daily or buy new underwear nearly as often as I should. Oh, and make my kids put clothes on right away when they’re naked. Today, they went swimming and about an hour passed after we got home and before their bath, and I didn’t bother putting clothes on them during that time!
Haha, I forgot to reply to this comment earlier, but your nekkid kids cracked me up when I read this! :)
This is great, Mary! You know what I don’t do? Make my kids wear real pajamas to bed. I seriously don’t care what they wear to bed as long as they are wearing something that even remotely fits their bodies. I don’t know how they can sleep in jeans some nights, but, hey, they’re sleeping! Plus, those fancy schmancy cutesy PJ’s are darn expensive (and are likely to get lost or stained in my home anyway).
That’s a great one. Not only are you avoiding a potential bedtime argument, but saving on laundry! I’m not too particular about PJs, either. When all of hers are dirty, a t-shirt and shorts do the trick!
OMG! You were writing all about me! There is one thing I do do, run….or at least try to run! I don’t coupon because coupons are usually for things I don’t buy. Don’t see many coupons for fresh fruit or vegetables! I would have to add that I don’t dust….living on a farm it is crazy, you dust and turn around and it’s back! I too am a night owl and seriously dislike mornings! I can’t wait for my son to graduate, so I don’t have to get up at 6:30 180 days of the year. I love your blog and look forward to more!
Ugh. Dusting is one of my least favorite chores, so you know what? I don’t do it either. :)
I am on board with all of those things. Most mornings I dry my hair, but I’m known to hit the snooze an extra time (or two) and sacrifice that part of my routine. That goes along with the whole not getting up early thing. :)
It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one, and there are apparently a lot of us, based on the comments.
You are definitely not alone. And now I’m imagining us all hitting snooze at the same time. Haha! :)
I don’t do my hair. It is thin and it can never be styled correctly. Ball cap is my security blanket.
Scrubbing floors make me want to scream. For me I feel like I can never get them clean enough!
I wish I was a crafty person. To me it is very overwhelming and I have no patience. I feel like it should have been done yesterday.
I really enjoyed this blog. Thank you for making me feel normal!
You are totally normal!! And scrubbing floors is overrated. ;)
Hmm…I don’t do quite a few of these things, too. The wet hair thing will always be an issue with me because it hangs to the middle of my back, and if I use a dryer on it, unless I want to take an hour to do it on low (and in layers)…I bear a strong resemblance to Bozo the Clown…if Bozo had long hair.
I can sew…and sew well. I can even design and make some nifty antebellum Barbie clothes…including the hooped skirt…but I don’t enjoy it so…I don’t. I, too have tried couponing. Extreme couponing even. But then the local paper decided that all non-subscription papers (i.e. the ones you can buy at the store or gas stations) wouldn’t have coupons. And since I don’t appreciate being forced into three month subscriptions for anything, my extreme couponing days were cut short. I will also never garden, but that’s mostly due to the fact that if I do, there will be a snake out there. :)
Wait a minute. You can make fancy Barbie clothes?! That’s amazing. But okay, I understand not liking to sew. No pressure here! :)
Well, I am generally a NCWA (Non-Conchalant Whatevah Atheist) but I will say that it is DEFINITELY against my (non-)religion to iron or dry clean unless it has to do with a wedding, a funeral or a job interview. And even then, if I can get away with ironing the collar and the cuffs … Hey, we re all living on borrowed time and there are just too many things that are way to important to do.
Thanks for your fun post!
Haha – I totally agree with your ironing strategy! Thanks for stopping by, Helen!
I can identify with almost all of those. I do try to send a card to my nieces and nephews because they live so far away its about all they know of me. I sometimes finish my non fiction books but they can take 6 months or a year to do it and only if I feel a pull to read more of the book. Its nice to know I’m not the only one! Thanks.
Sometimes I finish non-fiction books, too…but yes, just about as slowly as you do. You’re not alone!!