You know that song about making new friends and keeping the old? Brace your electronic selves, because, it’s not always true.
VCR, we’ve had a good run. Nay, a great run. I mean, you have served this family so well for more than two decades. You played Jurassic Park, the first movie Mark and I watched together. You recorded a stunning number of episodes of Married…with Children before we met and you were solely at Mark’s mercy. And then, in your brighter days, you recorded countless episodes of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars.
Oh, those were the days.
And let us not forget my semiannual dedication to exercise. VCR, you were always there, always willing to play my Tae-Bo tape – and never mocking my roundhouse kick. If that’s not true friendship, I just don’t know what is.
Alas, our time together has come to an end.
When we brought that Black Friday flat-screen into the house two months ago, it never occurred to me that you wouldn’t connect with our new friend. I had no idea that you would be evicted to the cold, dark garage. I didn’t know.
But I can’t deny your absence did make room for the new kid on the block.
Ahh, yes, DVR, it’s your turn to shine. Sure, sure, I know you’ve been around for a while. I’ve heard, okay?! If it makes you feel better, I’ll stop calling you the “new kid.” How do you feel about “BFF+EVA”? Because, yeah, you are totally my best friend forever and ever. Amen.
I just have one teeny, tiny concern. (See? A lesser friend would have lodged a complaint. But not me. I simply have an itsy, bitsy concern.)
The thing is . . . as wonderful as you are (AND YOU ARE. Oh, YOU ARE.), you’re also kinda, sorta, just a little bit STRESSING ME THE HECK OUT.
That thing where you keep track of how many shows I have waiting to be watched and how much space I have left AS A PERCENTAGE? Yeahhhhhh, it makes my eye twitch. The right one, if you were wondering (and I know you were, seeing as how we’re best friends and all).
Are you really telling me I need to narrow down my [long, fine? LONG] list of shows? Or are you saying I need to drop everything and watch my shows RIGHT AWAY? Because those two things are kind of the opposite of each other, and I’m not really sure which way you’re leaning right now.
Please advise. But don’t stop recording my shows. Except Last Resort, because last night’s episode was, sadly, the series finale.
In closing, my dear friends: I love you. You are equal but separate, and by “separate,” I mean that VCR lives in the garage now and DVR is like entertainment magic that also sometimes makes me twitchy.
Your Best Friend Forever (or until you move to the garage)
How many shows do you record? (Are we talking double digits – or is that just me?)