A couple weeks ago I had a scary-at-the-time health issue come up. And, of course, it didn’t happen in the middle of the day when I could easily call a doctor or in the evening when my husband was home. It happened late at night.
Late at night when the doctor’s office was closed, my husband was at work and my daughter was asleep. Late at night when Facebook slows down and Google seems like the only place to turn.
Yes, I do know better. Google is NOBODY’s friend close to midnight, when you’re not sure if that spot is Sharpie or cancer. (Not my actual issue. For the record.)
I did call Mark, but his response to a voice filled with tears and questions he couldn’t answer was to suggest I wake up our daughter, call my mom (and wake her up) to watch her, then go to the emergency room. Even in my scared state, I knew that solution was neither practical nor necessary.
Still, even though I knew the only answer was to wait until morning, I was scared and sad and sleep wasn’t coming easily.
So I grabbed my phone and tapped my Facebook app. I left messages in two private groups I’m a part of, telling my girlfriends what was going on and asking for prayer. By the time I woke up the next morning, still uneasy but feeling a little better as I waited for the doctor’s office to open, my sweet friends had done me one better.
Comment after comment, they practically shouted, “Yes!” as they agreed to pray for me. But they also whispered encouragement, “It’s okay. That’s happened to me, too.”
It turns out that what I experienced wasn’t life-threatening or all that uncommon. And my friends who had gone through the same thing? They were just fine now. Things had worked out. It was okay. And so, even before I saw my doctor that day, even before tests confirmed that I was just fine, I could breathe.
That’s the magic of “Me, too,” isn’t it?
Whether you’re facing a health issue or a parenting dilemma or a struggle with your faith or a career obstacle, hearing someone say those two little words makes a world of difference. “Me, too” can mean the difference between panic and peace, between desperation and determination. It can change your mindset from a frantic freakout or spiraling sadness to a grounded realization that you’re not alone, you’re not the only one, and it just might be okay.
What are you struggling with today? What would happen if you were brave enough to share it with a friend? Is it possible she might whisper, “Me, too”?
And what if a friend shares an embarrassing or scary or difficult struggle with you? What would happen if you were honest enough to say, “Me, too”?
One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis, who said: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
Let’s be the “Me, too” kind of friends. Not making up stories to share, not one-upping or getting lost in commiseration. But simply revealing our real selves, our real lives – the kind that, in a lot of circumstances, don’t look a whole lot different than our friends’.
Hate washing dishes? Me, too.
Wishing you didn’t yell at your kids this morning? Me, too.
Not sure how you’re going to afford this or that? Me, too.
Can’t remember the last time you shaved all your parts? Me, too.
Confused about that Bible passage you read or heard? Me, too.
Bad at folding laundry and putting it away? Me, too.
Wish your husband didn’t snore? Wish YOU didn’t snore? Me, too.
Wondering if you’ll ever fit back into “those” jeans? Me, too.
Wondering if you’ll ever go back to work? Or get to stay home? Me, too.
Wishing summer was longer? Me, too.
Wishing summer was over? Me, too.
Tired of making meals that your family criticizes? Me, too.
Tired of making meals even YOU don’t like much? Me, too.
Tired of making meals that take longer to cook than to devour? Me, too.
Regret staying up late to finish that book? Me, too.
Wish you had more time for fun things like reading? Me, too.
Wondering if you’ll ever…
…teach your daughter to tie her shoes?
…have a baby?
…stop fighting with your husband?
…meet your husband?
…stick to your diet?
…learn to cook? to speak French? to knit?
…learn to love cleaning? your in-laws? Candy Land?
ME TOO.
By the way, I know that photo of stadium seats doesn’t have a whole lot to do with this post. But I love it and wanted to use it. :) Verizon Wireless has been kind enough to let me use a Samsung Galaxy camera, and I had a blast using it on a tour of our football stadium last weekend. The camera is pretty amazing. It has a 21x optical–zoom lens, so you can take photos from really far away. Then you can share it on Facebook, Instagram and more because the camera also has 4G. It’s cool, and I was bummed to return it this week! Big thanks to Verizon for the use of the camera!!
“Me, too” is probably why I write half of my posts. If not more. Glad you’re OK!
Thank you. And yes, that’s a big part of why I write, too.
Totally agree with HopefulLeigh…providing that Me Too for someone is what keeps me writing–and not just writing it for someone but for someone else to say Me, Too back. This week I wrote about the struggles of being a working mom (thx for sharing that) and it’s been so good to hear so many moms say I struggle too.
And I have no idea why I just called her “HopefulLeigh” instead of just Leigh. Hello, Friday. My brain needs a break.
Hehe. Hello, Friday. :)
Yes! It’s why I was so relieved and excited to “find” blogs and why I wanted to start my own way back when. (By the way, I wanted to tell you…I wrote a summer bucket list post for this year, but I’ve questioned the wisdom of that ever since. Because of EXACTLY what you wrote about in your working moms post. It’s good for me to have goals and plans, so I don’t let our limited time slip away. But…it also can make me just feel guilty. The never-ending battle, back and forth, trying to find the balance. ME TOO.)
Thanks for sharing that!!
I’d love to see your list though just to get ideas!
It’s not too elaborate, but here’s my list: http://www.givinguponperfect.com/2013/06/summer-fun-list-2013/.
This is one of my absolute favorites from you, Mary. And that C.S. Lewis quote? Love that, too! Your list? Me too!
Thank you. :)
Love this post, Mary. THIS is the main reason I read blogs and specifically why I love yours so much! :)
Personally, my main thing is anxiety, sometimes even meeting my best friend for coffee or going out to lunch with my family or a perfectly average day at work makes me panicky. :/ Anyone else struggle like this?
Thank you. :) I don’t necessarily struggle with anxiety on a regular basis, but I DO get keyed up about regular activities sometimes. Or, more accurately, I guess, I just plain don’t want to do them – even the fun things like seeing a friend, like you mentioned. But I’m sure you’re not alone in actual anxiety over those things either. (It might be that nobody read through the comments, though. *I* might be alone on that one this time!)
I just read Bringing Up Bebe, about parenting in France, and one of the things she keeps coming back to is how American women relate by “mirroring.” Apparently French women don’t do that. Well, I’m happy to be American, then. I think we need that, so we’re not hiding our failures and fears from each other.
Interesting. I would think that women in any culture would have the same basic needs – but I was probably just making assumptions from my American worldview. Still, I’m with you and am happy to be American on this one!
I agree that this is why I started blogging so many years ago…it’s nice to have some validation that you aren’t completely alone in the things you are going through!
I love how so many of us started blogging for this very reason!
Great post. I wish I had a ‘Me Too’ friend. Lately it seems there is only competition among my friends.
Oh, I’m sorry, Anita. I think competition is the worst obstacle to female friendships. Praying you find a “me too” friend soon!